Top Trumps branding used with kind permission of Winning Moves UK – makers of Top Trumps
When it comes to Father’s and Mother’s day kids know who to please or do they? For those younger kids who are no longer getting cards and gifts bought for them to give to their mum or dad, this is your guide to buying for your mum and dad.
As with all games of Top Trumps there are categories and power values, so here goes.
Wrath (Missing the day and reaping the world wind that follows)
Mums (10) – From birth you are show diagrams and hear stories about the folly of not sending your mum something on Mother’s Day
Dads (3) – Dad has an amiable and bumbling character and is never one to complain because he has learned that in the eyes of his beautiful wife, complaining about ungrateful children means “So, you think I’m a bad Mother, eh?”
Happiness (Measured in equal part by the consideration and sentiment of your gift.)
Mums (10) – Your mum knows instinctively when a gift, flowers and card have been in haste, last night or on the way over to her house on Mother’s day. They just know!
However, extra points are scored if mum cries because her ‘lovely child’ has been so thoughtful in choosing a gift that shows how much she is loved.
Dads (6) – Dads secretly aren’t bothered about Father’s Day. They are happy to have a lie in and getting to choose what dinner is that night.
Choosiness (Trying to work out mum would consider a worthy gift! She won’t tell you, you have to work it out for yourself. Don’t ask your siblings for advice either, they’ll sacrifice you to win the who loves mum most contest!)
Mums (10) – A card, yes. Flowers, of course! But the real measure of love is the gift. High points are available here for thoughtfulness and especially hand-made gifts. A poem you’ve written for her, a framed photo of mum and her beautiful baby (you, not your brothers and sisters of course!), a tattoo of her face on your body. Anything bought in ASDA will be met with ‘that smile’ they don’t mean and the guarantee of future WRATH!
Dads (1) – If you ask a Dad what he wants for Father’s day he’ll say he doesn’t want anything. And he means it. He’s probably thinking he’ll have paid for it anyway because mum will have had to buy it from ASDA and given it to the kids to present to him like they bought it themselves. If you really pushed him he’d ask for a day’s peace, out of earshot of your mum of course!
Guilt (next to Wrath, the most powerful of mum powers)
Mums (1,000,000) – God help an ungrateful, inconsiderate child. If you forget Mother’s Day not only will you score heavy WRATH points, your mum will bank a 1,000,000 guilt points that will be cashed in at any time for the rest of your life. You may go onto be the most grateful and considerate of children, but mum will remember “That year you didn’t buy her anything, but that’s OK, we laugh about it now!”
Dads (0) – Dad is already carrying the heavy burden of 1,000,000 guilt points from mum, he’s not bothered about you feeling guilty.
Sibling Rivalry (Doing over your brother and sister in the ‘Who is loved most’ competition)
Mums (10) – A mum’s love is wonderful. She loves all her children equally, just sometimes; some kids are loved more equally than others! Saying you’re not going to buy anything special and then buying that trip in a balloon that mum has always wanted will boost the sibling rivalry score substantially. Especially when your brothers and sisters have bought that gift set for ASDA you said mum really wanted!
Dads (10) – Dads love can be bought too! His love is likely to be easier to buy than mums of course though offers of old style pint mugs, golf gift packs, socks and funny tee-shirts won’t buy that rare demonstration of outwardly love for his children. Offering to take mum out for the day so he can sit and do nothing will score you some serious points and love.
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